


Run and never go back.

by Aalvina



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bad Parent Maryse Lightwood, Bad Parent Robert Lightwood, Child Abuse, Falling In Love, Family, Family Drama, Fluff, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Smut, Xenophobia, just a bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-06-13 13:05:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15365295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aalvina/pseuds/Aalvina
Summary: At 14, Alec is beaten by his parents for being gay. He fled the Clave, the Insitute and his family. Travelling the world, he hides from the shadowhunters and found himself getting closer to the downworld.





	1. There once was a boy

**Author's Note:**

> This is a new story, I have the all plan worked out, I am gonna try to publish regulary. 
> 
> Hope you like it.

Alec's cheeks were wet with tears. His broken arm laying by his side, a dark eye, split lip, few broken ribs and his ankle was throbbing with pain. He kept staring at his clock, 2 hours since his father left him in his room, beaten up, unable to move. His breathing was ragged and all he could think about was how his life came to such a dramatic turn. 

His parents had summoned him to announce they wanted him to get engaged to Aline Penhallow and he just blurted he couldn't, wouldn't since he was gay. He never saw his father so angry and mother so disgusted.

Next thing he knew, his father had dragged him in his room while his mother had applied a silencing rune on the door, so that no one could hear his pleas and screams.

 

After three hours of laying there he started to fell asleep and struggled to focus. His parents had kept his stele on his desk, far from were they left him lying. He stopped trying to stay awake and wondered if he was gonna die from some internal bleeding he must have.

 

Alec woke up from the pain of his bones healing, he opened his eyes to see his mother applying iratze on his injuries, she was not looking at him but must have understood he was awake.

"I hope you have learned your lesson. You are not to speak of such sin anymore. We'll announce your engagement next month.You'll refuse to being Jace parabatai, we can't have you taint him."

Then Maryse left without another word, Alec raised his eyes toward the clock and saw that they left him on his own for five hours. Alexander was 14 years old when his life stopped because he was a gay man.

 

* * *

 

 

Alec was slaying one demon, while escaping the claws of another when he heard his mission partner screaming. He barely got time to turn around to see James being torn apart and dragged toward an opened portal to some realm of Hell. Two more demons were making their way toward Alec, trying to drag him toward the portal.

He threw one arrow at one and used his blade to evicerate the other and found himself alone, blood everywhere, burnt mark from the portal which slowly closed.

Alec did not think twice, he used his blade to cut his hand and let his blood drip on the ground, then hesitated but finally abandonned his bow and phone on site before disappearing in the night.

 

The shadowhunter found his way to an abandonned cemetary where he had hidden money and a bag of what he would need to flee the Institute and his home. He had made his decision after his father's beating him, two weeks ago. A few days after his parents found out he was gay they pushed forward a law to forbid homosexuality for shadowhunters, arguing they needed their people to have children. People who refused to abide the law would be deruned and left to die without their angelic powers. Knowing he did not have a lot of time before the Institute started wondering why he and James did not come back, he acted quickly. This was the perfect opportunity, people would think he died or was kidnapped.

He took the rune-removal device he stole a while back and breathed in as he removed his deflect rune on his neck and placed the Speak-in-tongues rune on his neck. Then he drew a new deflect rune on his arm and a rune to block any tracking people may try. He would have to redrew this one every day but it should help him for a few weeks.

 

Alec then took his backpack, changed his clothes in the dark and burned the old ones with a heating rune. He activated his shape-shifting rune and took the apparence of a mundane he saw earlier in the street, brown air and green eyes he went back into a street, hailed a cab and asked to go to the airport. By the time the Clave started an investigation on what happened tonight he would have left the country.

 

 


	2. Brazil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec meets the downworld. Gets a new past and a bunch of new names.

Alec stood hesitantly in front of the wooden door before knocking.

"Who are you? What do you want?" asked a sweet voice.

"I need a spell to change some of my looks long term, and prevent people from tracking me."

The door opened and revealed an old woman who smiled at him. It was more like a mocking smirk and Alec wanted nothing more than leave this place but he had no choice.

He had started working in a bar to make a bit of money. He had some but needed a plan for the next few years. Two days ago, shadowhunters came in and started talking about him and his disappearance, he hid in the pantry for a few minutes, said to his collegue there was his ex in the room as an excuse.

It took him all day finding this warlock without revealing who he was, only using whispers and rumors from the last month he spend here in Rio to guide him toward the minor warlock.

 

"Such a young shadowhunter fearing to be found." she chuckled but quickly frowned and her voice dropped one octave. "I hope you can pay, and are not some Circle recruit."

Alec shook his head. "No, I am not, I just... don't want to be found, I can pay."

The old warlock nodded and let him in.

It was a small appartment but well furnished in ancient furnitures, she went to retrieve a few things on a shelves, whispered a few words before magic started flowing from her fingers. The sparks were unsteady, Alec knew she was far from being the most powerful but he had no time or money to seek some other warlock. She turned back toward Alec and handed him two items, a string bracelet and a metal ring.

"The bracelet will help you change your appearance, just concentrate on what you want to look like before putting on it the first time and don't take it off. It only got enough juice for one apperance. You better know what you wanna look like. The ring should shield you from any unwanting tracking at least from your shadowhunters friends."

Alec nodded and gave her the money she asked. He was about to leave when she called him back.

 

"Say kiddo, you want a job?"

He did not answer but turned around.

"I have a meeting I need to go to, an old friend, or enemy, it depens on the decade. I'd felt better if you could watch my back you know."

"Why not ask the Clave?"

She snorted.

"You'll learn that very few of us trust shadowhunters to protect us."

Alec was about to argue but she stopped him.

"You wanna do it ? I'll pay you."

 

He only hesitated a few seconds before agreeing to watch her during the meeting. She gave him a time and adress for the next day and he left.

Alec spent his day scouting the place where the meeting was set to take place. It was on a bench, near the beach, very open for everyone to see, it would not be easy to hide himself, especially in his black leather gear. As he walked down the street, Alec caught sight of his reflection in a window-shop. He looked like a shadowhunter, not only from his rune, but his stance, his leather jacket, his holster, wearing far too much layers for the summer weather. Sighting he got into a shop and looked for a more mundane outfit.

When he went home to his hotel room he discarded his old clothes and put on a blue jean with a black tee-shirt. He had bought a few of them, mostly in dark tones, but some with colors, blue, green, one red. It felt like he was giving up the last bit of his old shadowhunter self behind. The bracelet in hand he focused on his reflection, imagining his hair brown, his eyes green, a few freckles and slipped the bracelet on. His appearance changed, his body was the same but it was enough change so people would not recognize him in a crowd. He tied his hair in a loose ponytail with a shoe lace.

Looking at his new self he started to imagine a new past to tell others. He could be an orphan, parents dead, it seemed fitting. He would have to explain why he refused to join an Institute. As he started at his reflection he focused on not derailing too much from the truth. Opening his mouth he told his lie out loud for the first time.

"My parents were Circle members, hidding from the Clave, I was raised by them alone, they died when I was ten. I feared the judgment frome the Clave, being raised by them even though I never shared their belief. My name is...."

His voice stopped right then, he could not think of another name to be called than Alec.

 

* * *

 

Nothing happened that night but the old woman was happy. On his way back, Alec had decided to walk back, enjoying the night air, he could catch his reflexion in a window-shop from time to time and each tim it got easier to find this new appearance normal.

He was about a block away from his hotel when he heard the distinctive sound of a hellhound in an alley. Alec rushed to the shadows, his sight rune still active he could distinguish a werewolf lying on the ground and a little girl shaking, a hellhound snarled at her and got ready to attack. Alec jumped and stabbed the beast at his flank, then took a few steps back, shielding the girl. His position was less than ideal in front of the demon but if he moved, the girl would be an easy target. The hellhound attacked and Alec dodged, pushing the girl out of the way before throwing his dagger right into its throat. The beast roared and then disappeared. Alec's body sagged against the wall, he looked at the girl and saw she was a warlock, wide puple eyes staring at him. He smiled and then took his blade on the floor before getting closer to the uncouncious werewolf but the small girl ran toward him and held his hand back, her eyes fixating on the blade. He suddenly understood and let the blade fall.

“Don't worry, I just want to check on him. I won't hurt you.”

She was still wary but let him go, sparks of magic flying from her small fists. Alec kneeled and slowly touched the neck of the werewolf, it took a few seconds but he finally could feel some faint pulse. He turned toward the girl.

“He's alive. Do you know where there are people who can help you?”

The girl nodded and ran to the end of the street. Alec turned the wolf and tried to assess his injuries. He could not do much but he used shred of clothes remaining from the werewolf transformation to press against an open wound. Less than ten minutes later he heard people running toward him, three women and a man entered the alley and looked warily at him. He backed away slowly, hesitated a second before taking his blade back and quickly putting it back in its holster. The four other people watched him, standing ready to attack but Alec kept moving away before he jumped on a bin before grasping the edge of the roof and disappearing.

 

* * *

 

The old warlock payed him and took his phone number.

“In case I need protection again.”

He shrugged, he did not do much for the woman, however his mind kept going back to the warlock girl and the wounded werewolf, maybe he could be of help, use his talents as a shadowhunter to protect those that the shadowhunters tended to forget. The problem was, the downworlders had no reason to trust him. He made a habit to patrol the nights around the neighbourhoods the Clave did not bother protecting. He found a few demons lurking, Alec was always swift and never lingered long enough for people to see him. That's why, two weeks after he started his patrols, he was surprised to see a vampire outside his new hotel room, a smile on his face and holding his hand out.

“Hello, I am Gerald, head of the Vampire of Rio. Can we talk?”

Alec nodded nervously. He was 14, standing in front of a centuries old man who could want him dead.

Gerald made his way inside, ignoring the emptiness of the room, except for a small pity for a second in his eyes as he saw the still young body of Alec in a soldier stance.

“You have protected our neighbourhood, without being asked, you already saved two people and maybe more if the number of demonic remains is to be trusted.”

“What's your question?”

“Let us pay you. Most of us are still wary of you, your kind hasn't always been good to us. However.” he fiddled with the button of his coat. “We cannot kill demons, and maybe if the Clave knew we had a shadowhunter protecting us, they may be less inclined to … take liberties.”

Alec frowned at this insinuation, not sure he wanted to know the details of the crimes his kind were still guilty of.

“If the Clave find out... they'll stop me.”

“What's your story boy?” asked Gerald as he sat on the one chair in the room.

Alec told his story, the lie he had concocted and the vampire listened.

“You're a bad liar, but your story will work. Now, the downworld don't care about who you were, as long as you stand by our side, we will hide your location.”

Alec hesitated, suddenly, all his lessons on how the vampire were cruel creatures, warlocks players, werewolves hot-bloodied people and seelies smart liars came rushing through his mind. They got stopped by the memory of the young warlock girl who gripped his hand so he wouldn't hurt the man lying in the ground.

“I guess I have to take a leap of faith.” sighed Alec.

Gerald smiled and got up.

“So do we.... Do you have a name?”

“Erm...” Alec hesitated and the vampire put a conforting hand on his shoulder.

“Let's do that. We'll call you whatever name we think off, let's just choose one letter that has to be in the name.”

“I” said Alec without thinking, his mind conjuring the face of Izzie. He never got to say goodbye, maybe honoring her even just like this would help ease his guilty mind.

“Good. It sounds like we're in an agreement Cristian.”

 

 

* * *

 

Just like that, Alec started to work, parents asked him to keep an eye on their children, he gave patrol reports to the different head of clans. Julia for the werewolves, Frédéric for the warlocks, Kali for the Seelies and Gerald. Alec was quite surprised to see the Seelies asking for him but apparently the Queen has found his story “amusing” and let his people pay him for protection.

It took Alec a while to agree to reveal anything about the shadowhunters, but after a few months he caved in. He had justed battled two shadowhunters who had raided a warlock bookstore and tried to burn precious book of the warlock community. They were surprised seeing a shadowhunter protecting warlocks but had managed to break a few of his ribs and open his left eyebrow.

So as Frédéric was healing his wounds, and having discovered the shadowhunters acted without any reason or order to, Alec had started to give informations away.

Mostly so the downworlders could keep out of patrols, which law to call upon if injusted arrested.

It had helped a lot, but also brought him unwanted attention.

 

June slid a drink on the bar toward him and he frowned.

“Underage.” he said, pointed at himself and pushing the alcool away from him. June, who was a 19 year old vampire just pushed back the drink.

“It's a very light vodka orange. You just came all this way to help me seperate two drunk werewolves fighting. You need to unwind a bit Killian.”

Alec scrunched his nose, as much at the taste of the drink as of her choice of name. Gerald's idea became a game for most downworlders. Finding the most annoying names to call him, or weird ones.

“Oh come on! This name is tame. I could have called you Childeric!”

“You already did.”

“Two i in it. I'm allowed to use it more than once.” she retorted, sticking her tongue at him. It was childish but Alec made a face back at her.

Their game was cut short by Frédéric coming through a portal inside the bar.

“Justin! The Clave has heard about you. They're pissed off, or curious, we're not sure. But you need to leave.”

Alec got off his stool and June froze.

“Where?”

“I have a friend in Nigeria, she'll help you find a place to settle. I'm pretty sure you could help there too.” He handed him a plane ticket that left the next morning and was about to go back through the portal when he stopped and turned. “I'm sorry you have to leave. We like you here.” and then he disappeared.

June engulfed Alec in a hug and whispered “Sent me a postcard okay?” he nodded, still a bit lost. He got into a cab to his hotel, packed his things. It took him longer than he thought. He had actually started to settle here, even looking for a flat of his own. A tear slipped past his eyelids but he shook his head and left.

 

Once in the airport, he threw his phone away after sending messages to people that mattered to him. He was about to check in when he caught sight of blond hair and stopped when he saw Izzie and Jace walking around the building, clearly searching for something, before he realized they could be who the Clave sent to investigate about him.

His bag was suddenly too heavy, his hair too long, tickling his neck, and the run too hard. Forgetting all the reasons that had him running away he was about to shout their names, to go back home, to his family when the sound died in his throat as his parents emerged from the crowd. Alec's blood ran cold, hands shaking. No longer the young talented shadowhunter to hire who protected innocent downworlders, just a scared boy lying on the ground of his room as his father relentlessly beat him into uncounciousness.

Izzie went back to Robert and laughed at a joke he made, while Jace reported something to his mother who gently stroke a hair from her adoptive son's head. Alec felt sick, and broken, he forced himself away from the sight and walked toward the desk that would take him to his plane, to another day.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the story has started for good. What do you think? When do you think Alec will meet Magnus? ^^  
> Next stop is Nigeria and a bit more of Africa. 
> 
> Kudos and Comments are life.


	3. Breathe in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> North west of Africa, a new friend, new ennemies, new weapon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD! Thank you so much for the comments, it motivated right away to write a new chapter. Please keep them coming!!!
> 
> I hope you'll like this chapter.

The wind blew softly in Alec's hair, and he closed his eyes, enjoying the relief of some coolness under the scorching sun. One hand secure on the mountain wall, he let himself dangle to appreciate the view he had from here.

“Show-off.” huffed Hassana as she arrived at the same level as he was.

“It's beautiful.” tried to explain Alec. Hassana, stopped and looked in the same direction as he was but shrugged and continued her climbing of the Kapsiki Peak.

“I would've thought after two years in Nigeria and Cameroon you would be used of our landscape Golibe.”

“Still feels weird. The names you give me.”

She cackled, her laugh the only sound around.

“Nigerian names a bit too much for you white boy?”

“Just unusual.” grumbled Alec.

He didn't mind the origin of the names but Hassana was the only one who called him with pure african names, while the other people he had met here tended to call him by more westernized names.

The climb was not long but quite hard on them with the heat and the trek they had to do to get there. The sound of scorpios demons started to be heard. The azizas community had called upon the Clave to help them with demonic attacks in their forest. The Clave had come, killed a bunch of rampant demons and hadn't bothered to find the nest. Alec had stopped being surprised by the attitude of the different Institutes. Azizas had always been benevolent race of people but when the Clave began, they treated anything that wasn't mundane or angelic as demonic. Salomon, the head of the Obayifo community had hired Alec and Hassana to destroy the different nests. This one was the last.

 

Alec had been surprised to be one of many shadowhunter-to-hire in the region. The Clave stayed centuries late on the real world and racism was still present in some countries, mostly in Africa. Most of the shadowhunters were white and rarely aware of the culture of the countries they were in. For them, vampires, obayifos, sasabonsam, tokoloshe were the same thing. Refusing to differentiates the other races from the one they knew. It was the first thing Alec had to learn when he arrived, the many different downworlders he had no idea existed before, how to protect mundanes from them when they attacked, how to seek their help and how to protect them. Hassana was a nigerian shadowhunter-to-hire, she did study at the Institute of Abuja but found herself more at ease outside on her own.

The Institute declared her dead, it was easier to hide to the Clave than to say they had rebellious shadowhunters. Once a shadowhunter decided to hide somewhere in Africa, there was no way to find him or her.

Alec mostly stayed on the north-west coast, from Senegal to Gabon. He got called Julien, William, Gauthier, Karim and Nigel.

 

Once they arrived at the top of the peak, they had to be swift, there was very little space and a lot of demons. Hassana and Alec had learnt to work together, he met her six months ago but they quickly had decided to work together and for the first time Alec had felt more safe knowing someone was watching over him.

Some had tried to know more about him but Hassana had made a rule that they only talked about the future, herself hiding what seemed to be a past that still hurt her. When they finished killing all the demons they sat for a second before getting down and back to the long journey back to Abuja. They stopped in the nearest city and found a very small hotel to stay. Alec's paleness made him look like a tourist and Hassana played his guide, making fun of him with the locals, knowing he could understand everything she said.

 

* * *

 

“Hey Ian?” she asked one night in the room they shared in the capital.

“Yes.”

“Happy birthday.” she whispered.

Alec smiled to himself, being on the run he could not even reveal his date of birth so he made an habit to chose the date he got into a new country as the birthday date he gave to the people he met there. His mind automatically wanted to correct her but he shook his instinct. His real birthday had gone by without him noticing. He was 17 and had been on the run for almost three years.

“Tomorrow we go partying. No negociation possible.”

“I'm still underage.” he argued.

“I never said you had to drink.” she countered.

He let his head fall back on his bed and grumbled.

The next morning, Hassana dragged him to a tour of the different communities of downworlders in Nigeria and he found himself being welcomed, each group got him a gift but the best part was once they arrived in small hidden village which was used by shadowhunters-to-hire to regroup. There, Jules, the man who taught him most of what he had learned about Africa welcomed him in a hug and handed him a package that Alec took with shaking hands.

Alec had refused to reveal anything more than the story he had made up about himself. He only slipped once, Jules had been training him to use angelic weapons made by Iron Sisters who had fled the Clave. Recognizing Alec tendency to put distance between himself and his opponent, Jules had asked which was his favorite weapon and Alec instantly said “a bow and arrows”. The other man never used this knowledge against Alec but now, he was handing him a brand new bow and a set of arrows. Both made of a thick wood with adamas embeded in it shaping runes he could activate with his stele.

“I... I can't accept this.” Alec said, his voice trembling and his hands already clutching the familiar item.

“Yes you can. We had it made for you. You're one of us, you need to be able to protect yourself.”

“I should at least pay for a part of it! I have lots of money saved.”

Hassana scoffed behind him. He knew he was being rude but had no idea how to react to this gift.

“It's your birthday, at least here. And this is our gift. Save your money, we both know you're gonna need it.”

 

Alec dropped his eyes on the ground, the words a cruel reminder he will have to leave this place at some point. It's a foolish hope to think he can settle somewhere, he got lucky the Clave hadn't yet heard of the white shadowhunter that worked with downworlders in Africa.

“Stop that!” shouted Hassana. “ Accept the present and then we are going to have fun.” she then whispered. “Always look toward the future, the past is just a burden.”

Alec nodded and smiled at Jules and the other shadowhunters.

 

* * *

 

Hassana and Alec ended in a bar, doing shots. She was 19 and flirted with the barman so he got Alec some alcool. Alec did try to refuse but after a few hours of seeing everyone unwind a bit he felt uncomfortable in his sober state. This was the reason why he ended on the dance floor, dancing with an enthusiastic Hassana while his gaze caught the eyes of a boy across the room. Alec had never been with anyone, half afraid of rejection and homophobia, half too focused on being invisible to the world. Yet, on this night, he found himself irresistibly attracted to the boy that was actively undressing him with his eyes.   
Hassana was about to chastise him for stopping dancing but stayed silent and grinned as she saw the looks Alec and the other man shared.

“Go get him.” she told him loud enough for him to hear above the music and then she resumed her dancing with the nearest stranger.

Alec walked back to the bar and drank another sip of beer trying to calm his nerves when a deep voice rang next to him.

“Hello. I'm Paul.”

Alec turned around and blushed at the man.

“Julien.” he answered.

“It's a bit crowded here, what do you say we go finish our drink outside?”

Alec nodded and followed him out of the club.

He ended talking for a few minutes with the man, blushing and hoping the lack of details in the answer he gave could be attributed to his nervousness. He never thought of inventing a life in order to have a talk with a mundane. The other boy did not seem to mind and smiled before he leant forward to kiss Alec.

It was a bit awkward, their breath full of alcool, his head was dizzy and he had no real idea of what he was doing. Alec put his hand on Paul's arm who took his neck to deepen the kiss. It might have been longer had they not been surprised by a voice near the alley. They seperated, smiles on their faces. Paul fumbled with his pockets before he gave him his phone, opening it on a new contact page.

“Put your number in.”

Alec did as he was told and Paul kissed him quickly once again before he left. Alec was 17 years old and kissed someone for the first time.

 

* * *

 

Alec kept looking at his watch, he had a new date with Paul. Their third one and he found himself ready a bit too early. So Alec was pacing in order to wait until he could leave at a reasonable time.

Hassana had left two days ago for a mission and should be back today, he was aware she had always made herself invisible when he had his dates. Letting him freak out on his own. Alec had no idea what he was feeling for Paul except attraction and for now, it was enough.

Giving up on his pacing Alec decided he could do a quick patrol to pass time. He was about to grab his jacket when someone knocked on the door. Frowning, he grabbed his blade and hide it in the back of his pants. The door revealed two men and a woman, shadowhunters, two of them smiling at him but Alec tensed seeing their runes before his blood ran cold once he caught sight of the circle rune on their neck.

“I see you know who we are. We have heard a lot about you and have to admit we're a bit curious. You say your parents were Circle members. Who were they?”

Alec gluped audibly and focused on finding a way to gain more space to defend himself if they started to attack. The man on the right continued.

“You see, there are very few Circle members who completely disappeared, even less people in a relationship.”

“He could be a Lightwood.” proposed the woman.

“Wrong hair, and Maryse and Robert are back with the freaking Clave.” countered her partner.

Alec felt the hair be knocked out of his lungs. He had a lot to hate his parents about but the thought of them being previous Circle members made him sick.

“Go away! I want nothing to do with you.” said Alec, voice cold, body ready to fight.

The woman approached him.

“Are you sure? You could be better than whoever were your parents. We heard about what you've been doing, and you're still a teenager. We could teach you so much darling.” her voice was smooth, trying to somewhat seduce him but she quickly understood this was the wrong tactic with him.

“Oh. A gay shadowhunter, interesting. One more reason to join us, we don't care about any of that. Don't you want to be something you can be proud of, join us. Help us defeat the Clave and rule by our side.”

“You're even worse than the Clave. Why on earth would I join those who kill innocent downworlders!” he snarled, his hand already on his blade, not caring that the other three went into a battle stance.

“You stupid boy! Downworlders aren't innocent, they'll destroy what's left of you.” spat one of the man. Alec was about to attack when Hassana appeared behind the three assailants.

“What's happening?” she asked, her clothes covered in ichor and bags under her eyes, eyes that widen as she stared at the second man that hadn't yet spoken.

“Helen?” he said, disbelief in his voice.

“So that's where you've been hiding from us. After you deserted we thought you died in the jungle.” said the woman.

Alec's eyes went from the Circle members to Hassana, suddenly understanding why she's rather not talk about the past.

“Unfortunately, deserters are to be killed.” whispered the man who recognized her and he took a blade out.

Everything when very quickly, Hassana was tired and the blade sunk in the arm she had risen to protect her. Alec slit the throat of the woman in a split second before starting to fight the two men. Hassana applied a healing rune before joining him and they easily overpowered their opponents. Hassana broke the neck of one and plunged her blade into the second, sobbing words he did not hear.

They ended up standing on the porch, three bodies on the ground.

“You need to leave.” said Alec as a matter of fact.

“Victor... I'm so sorry.”

Alec turned to Hassana whose eyes were shining with tears, her hands trembling. Suddenly it wasn't the fierce warrior he knew that was standing in front of him but a scared girl, terrified by the implications of what just happened. He found himself brought back to this day at the Rio airport when he saw his parents.

“I'll take the blame, it'll give you time to disappear. Maybe go to South Africa, Jules knows people there, or go to South America, I think you'll like it.”

“No. you can't! They'll hunt you, the Circle is too dangerous.”

He sighed.

“I had no idea the Circle was still alive. I was about to attack them when you arrived. It's okay. I think we're both used to fleeing. Let me keep you safe. If it's not the Circle, the Clave will end up driving me away.”

Hassana wiped tears on her cheeks but nodded.

“No goodbyes right?”

“You did say to only look toward the future.”

“I did.”

She went to Jules, to tell him Alec had to leave because he had killed Circle members while Alec packed his bags, his bow and arrow and went to the airport. By the time his plane took off, Hassana was going through a portal to Madgascar. Just like that, Alec walked away from two years of his life, his first kiss and the life he made for himself there. In the clouds, his hands clutching a new phone without any contacts inside he promised himself to no longer get attached to people or a place. He was forever without a home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me what you think of the new downworlders, Hassana and everything. If you ask very nicely I might reveal a few sneak peak. ^^
> 
> Next stop : Europe!


	4. Adulthood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for your comments, I'll never say it enough. Keep them coming. I'm so inspired by them!!  
> I know some of you would like me to slow down a bit but I am really trying (you should see my fic The Wait, I went really fast on this one).  
> I want to show Alec's different experiences before I can developp a Malec relationship.

Berlin night life was full of energy, bodies pressing against one another, lights brightly shining, glasses shared between friends and strangers. If the day was peaceful, the night promised another side of the city, who kept you safe in your adventures. The mundane world was safe and so was the shadowworld, kept by the Berlin Insitute, a discreet one who kept to himself, protecting the people under its responsibility. The head, Niklas Müller did not care about Clave politics, he did his job with efficiency and a cold justice.

Alec soon understood he wasn't needed there, some downworlders had hired him in more secluded part of the country but for once, Alec got hope the shadowhunters could actually protect people and be fair to them.

He had almost kept his promise, refusing to attach himself to any people or place. After Nigeria he had landed in Greece, then had kept moving for a year, from Greece he had traveled the coast from Albania to Slovanie, not staying more than two months in a country. The work was easy, the downworlders were the most common one : vampire, werewolves, warlocks and seelies. Without a need to learn more, Alec had closed himself to the world, building a fortune he never really used. His managed to keep this nomadic life for a year, until he met Carlos and fell in love. Carlos was an italian shadowhunter sent to the Slovenian Institute for an investigation. Alec met him while he was fighting a group of vampire on a building rooftop and almost got his trachea opened when Carlos came to help him.

 

Alec had lied, told he was from the Greece Institute on a secret mission. Carlos had smiled and invited him to get a drink.

 

Two weeks later, Alec was following him in Italy, ignoring every instinct that had kept him away from the Clave. He followed Carlos into the Florence Institute and kept his cover as a greek shadowhunter. Carlos's hair was brown, cut short, military style. He kept his wardrobe simple, and sometimes Alec felt like he could see the shadowhunter he himself was meant to become before he ran away. At 18, Alec had his hair lied in a loose ponytail falling to his shoulders, his muscles came from his year of running away instead of the steady work-out of an Institute gym. Alec barely smiles when Carlos couldn't finish a sentence without cracking a joke and Alec was entranced by the man.

A few days after their arrival in Florence, Carlos introduced Alec to his girlfriend Julia and broke the man's heart.

Persuading himself he could be happy just being near Carlos, even as he harboured unrequired feelings, Alec spent months being consumed by the feelings he had swore to never feel.

And on day, life came back to slap Alec in the face.

 

“Who are you?” Carlos voice was wary, not angry, not afraid but something was simmering under his tone.

“What do you mean? I'm Milos. Come on, Carlos!”

“No you're not, Julia thought you were hiding something, she got scared, we have heard stories of the Circle being back, I … I checked, there is no Milos from Greece.”

Alec heart stopped, unable to produce a sound, he was left to listen to Carlos continue.

“I couldn't believe you were with the Circle, I've seen you with downworlders, you love them. There are other stories, stories of an exiled shadowhunter who escaped deruning, who gets hired by downworlders for anything. Strangely, the last occurrence was in Croatia a few weeks before I met you in Slovania.”

Alec recognized the tone, it wasn't anger, or disgust. It was disappointment. It only took Carlos next sentence to understand Carlos was disappointed on himself, on what he had done.

“I'm sorry Mi... whoever you are... I had to, my family counts on me to honor our name. I had to tell.”

“You told the Clave.” whispered Alec in disbelief as the thump sound of boots resounated on the corridor leading to the room Alec had been staying in for the last 5 months. Suddenly the veil tore in front of his eyes, seeing clearly this place for what it was. A prison, he went back willingly into the very place he left 4 years ago, all for a man that was weak, following orders. Alec straightened his stance and went to take a pendant he had purchase a while ago for such a situation. His voice was unforgiving when he spoke to Carlos.

“You should trust yourself before you trust the Clave. At this rate, you'll end up killing downworlders children.”

Then he pressed the pendant, a huge wave of magic bursted the wards and opened a portal for him. It was a one use gadget that costed him a lot of money but actually saved his life. Some other time, he would have worried about how defensless this Insitute now was with their wards broken but on this day he did not care the least.

 

That's how he ended up in Berlin, he never met Niklas, but heard many good things about him. He was far from being philantropist to the downworld but at least he was fair. Alec was now sipping a bear at a seelie bar when he heard the whispers going through the room.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah... Niklas is in a coma.”

“How can this be? How did they get in?”

“No idea but you need to let people know. And quick.”

“Of course, I can't believe the Circle is back.”

“To think they almost got control of the Berlin Institute...”

Panicked whispers and gasps of emotions flood the bar and had Alec tense. He had tried not to think of the revelations he got in Nigeria but they came back with the whispers. His parents were previous Circle members, the Circle was back and powerful. An ennemy too powerful for him and yet after feeling useless in Germany and betrayed in Italy, Alec was looking for something to fight. The Circle was a good target.

 

* * *

 

“Wait here! I'm gonna get help!” shouted the small boy. Alec repressed the urge to say he could not move if he wanted to. Turning his head to the side, he saw his blood mixing with the one that oozed out of the Circle member that had been ready to kidnapp the small warlock boy when Alec found them.

The rain tried to wash away all the blood but only had Alec's body freeze. His investigation in Germany led him to a group of Circle members active in Essex, that's in one small city he found the now dead man and the boy.

Alec wondered if he really was going to die in an alley, having done nothing important of his life. He only had run. Ran from his parents, ran from the Clave, ran from heart break and dispappointment, no friends, no family. Alec Lightwood officially dead at 14, dying at 19 alone. Probably from cold and shock, tears started to flow out of his eyes, his hands too busy to stop the bleeding on his flank to brush the tears that were already being washed away by the rain.

His consciousness was slipping away and the last thing he saw before blacking out was the swirling of a portal and a blurry green shape.

 

* * *

 

“People talk about Socrate and his thoughts forgetting that we only know these through the writing of his disciple Plato.”

Alec nodded, still focusing on his book of maths while Ragnor kept doing his lecture about philosophy Alec had already heard twice this last week.

“Is this why you call me Disciple? You wish for me to write your way of thinking?” he teased to the warlock who ignored his quip.

“No! Though it would be a grand idea. I call you Disciple because you are as such and I do not wish to play this silly game of changing your name every day. Stupid idea.”

“It was Gerald idea.”

“Of course it was.” grumbled Ragnor before putting an exam sheet in front of Alec who sighed.

After saving his life, Ragnor had taken upon himself to complete Alec's education, deeming it “extremely lacking”, all shadowhunter education was lacking from his point of view but since Alec did not finish it it was even worse.

Alec had refused and battled against the centuries old man before giving up. His body needed healing so he relented for the time being and found himself liking this new life rhythm. Ragnor was a silent man, except when he was giving Alec a private lecture about any subject he liked. In the last three months he had been taught about maths, history, downworlders culture and litterature at great length. Ragnor kept promising more details and subjects like physics, art, economics and politics. He let Alec go through his books and adorned a small knowing smile when Alec walked around a book in hand, even bumping into the furniture.

Alec had gone back to small jobs, after promising to leave the Circle alone even if he itched to destroy this organization he knew he was in no position to win this kind of war.

 

They just had an usual silent dinner when Ragnor announce the arrival of a friend in a few weeks.

“Is this your friend that hates me?” wondered Alec.

“He does not hate you. He just thinks I am mad for welcoming a shadowhunter into my house.”

“Sounds a lot like hate to me.”

“Magnus likes to find problem to fix with his friends' life when he finds himself unable to fix his own. And for the last months he has been struggling with the return in New York of a persistant ex-girlfriend. The very reason he is coming here, to get away from her.”

“How bad can that be? He still has feelings for her?”

Ragnor let a snort escape him.

“No. No love lost between them, it's just that, when you're immortal, it can be difficult to deal with stories of your past. Especially when your past takes form in an Aphrodites kind of woman. And the kind of Aphrodites who sleeps around and wage wars.”

“Sounds complicated.” mused Alec.

Ragnor smiled.

“Love often is, although it's only working when it feels easy.” Alec frowned at this statement.

“It doesn't make any sense.”

 

Alec was out on patrol the night Magnus arrived and only finished his work at the crack of down. He came in silently and went for a short shower, Ragnor was a heavy sleeper so just put on a pair of boxers and an old hoddie before going to the kitchen to get a quick snack before allowing himself to rest.

“Well this is a nice view.” the voice got Alec to drop the bottle of ice tea and suddenly turning around to see a young man leaning against the door, his eyes lined with eyeliner but hair falling a bit flat on his head, he was clearly about to go to sleep when he got in the kitchen. He wore silk pyjama pants but was bare chest and revealed a toned muscular skin that awoke a deep and new feeling inside Alec.

“I.... Ermhh... Just... drink. I mean.. I just got back and wanted a drink.” stuttered Alec.

“Oh. Don't mind me. I heard a sound and thought we were attacked but I have to say, I am pleasantly surprised.”

Alec gluped and tried to focus his attention on Magnus face but his eyes kept slipping toward Magnus's chest and legs earning a knowing smirk on the other man face.

“I'm Magnus Bane. Just in case there was a doubt.” said Magnus interrupting Alec's fantasy.

“Yes! I guessed so. I'm..”

“The very mysterious man with no name. Nice to meet you Jim.” he then winked and left the room and a very flustered Alec.

 

* * *

 

Magnus had been here for two weeks and kept flirting, enjoying Alec's reaction. While Alec had tried to refuse the attraction he felt it was considerably difficult living with him. He started to take more and more jobs and keep Magnus at a friendship distance but often found himself talking to the man for long hours at night long after Ragnor went to sleep.

“I can't believe Ragnor. I mean, I know he's older but he could at least try not to act like it.” mocked Magnus one day.

“Well immortality leaves him time to go to sleep early if he wants.” argued Alec.

“Trust me Billy, everyday should be lived as it was the most important one. Immortal or not, you should always believe you are young. Otherwise you act like a 70 year old for centuries.”

“Is that what you do.”

“I try. Caius.”

Alec made a face.

“Seriously? Are you looking for awful names?”

Magnus laughed.

“What do you want. I have lived a long time, I don't want to call you the same as people I have known and I have known a lot.”

“Why can't you call me the same as someone you knew? We often meet two people with the same name.”

Magnus expression softened and he brought his hand to stroke Alec's cheek who slightly leaned onto the palm.

“You might not believe it. But you deserve to be unique, and you have a chance to be.”

Alec had no idea how to respond to this statement and very slowly leaned down to drop a soft kiss to Magnus lips. It was sweet and short but held tender affection Alec felt for this man who returned the kiss but stopped to look at Alec's eyes.

“But if you really hates my names, give me one and I'll stick to it promise. Make sure it matters to you. After all this time, you must have one name you like.”

“Alec.” he answered without thinking and Magnus frowned.

“Alec? Like Alexis for the I ? It's a weird nickname for such a name.”

“No. As in Alexander.”

“There is no I in Alexa... Oh.”

 

Alec stared at Magnus, his all being thrown in this giant leap of faith. Giving Magnus a power he never allowed anyone to have other him. The weirdest thing was how easy it felt, how natural. The one big gamble, give all, win or lose. Magnus brought Alec back for another kiss, this time more passionate, trying to express many feelings in one act. When they stopped for air, Magnus leant his forehead against Alec's and smiled.

“Hello. Alexander. It's a pleasure to meet you.”

 

And just like that, Alec felt like he was reborn, making his name his own through Magnus voice.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, well. You asked for it, Malec can starts (*rubs my hands for... well everything)  
> Leave kudos or comment your thoughts about everything : Alec's travel, Carlos, the Clave, the Circle, Ragnor, Magnus. Please, I would love to know what you think. 
> 
> Love, 
> 
> Aalvina


	5. Another inner voice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus worries about his relationship with Alec

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love to you all! 
> 
> Your comments are amazing, I love them, I love you for posting them!  
> They made me write so much!! I think this is my longest chapter ever.   
> I try to answer to most of them, sorry if I did not answer to yours ^^

Magnus had gotten used to waking up to the sound of Alec coming back to a mission. Even before they shared their first kiss he had felt the slide from easy flirtation to feeling something deeper. It was the way he struggled to fall asleep until Alec made his way back to Ragnor's appartment, how his eyes lingered to the shadowhunter's back while he was studying. Learning Alec's real name and kissing him had just cemented what he knew only led to love or heartbreak.

Since Alec and him had started to go out together, Ragnor gave him stares full of many things, warning, judgment, sadness. Magnus had just ran away from memories of Camille heartbreak just to jump straight into an unpending one.

No matter how his heart fluttered while holding Alec's hand, no matter how sweet their kisses tasted, Magnus told himself over and over that what they had was doomed.

 

A month into their budding romance, they were laying on Ragnor tiny couch, the older warlock had left them to their “annoying sweetness”, Alec was currently frowning at the movie playing on the Tv, his hand stroking Magnus' hair who laid on his lap. Alec mumbled from time to time about how weird mundanes could be. Magnus liked to look at him even more than watch the movie. Ignoring the voice who told him they were already too cosy for a one month soon-to-be-doomed relationship, he closed his eyes and enjoyed his boyfriend's hand in his hair.

 

“Why do you hate mundanes after living among them for years?” he ended up asking.

“I don't hate them, they're just so... silly. Living among them only showed me more of how infuriating it can be to save their oblivious asses.”

Magnus chuckled, arching his head to angle Alec's hand where he wanted it on his head.

“You think I'm wrong to think this?” asked Alec after a moment of silence.

“No. Mundanes can be... oblivious it's right, but they also are passionate in the way they live their lives. Just because we know how more dangerous the world is doesn't mean we're right about how the way to enjoy it.”

Alec hummed before leaning his head down to kiss softly Magnus on the lips.

“In some way they are way ahead of the shadowworld.” added Magnus.

“That is right.”agreed Alec leaving unsaid in what way he saw the mundanes open-minded but the way his eyes looked lovingly upon Magnus were clearer than words could be.

“Is that why you flee the Clave? Because of the homophobia?”

Alec froze, his body tensed suddenly and Magnus almost regretted his question. He had been very careful not to ask about Alec true past but curiousity kept nagging him. Magnus had held honesty up above everything else in his mind. That was one of the reason he tried to convince himself they had no future. Their relationship could have no honesty when Alec's whole past was a lie, even if they both knew this. Magnus wanted Alec, he knew at least that but secrets destroyed relationships before they could begin.

“I fled to stay alive.” was Alec answer. Too vague, too worrying. Magnus felt his barrier rise again, to prevent him for more heartbreak than what he was certain to feel. He rose to sit on the couch and he kissed Alec his hands holding his neck and dropping to grab his arms.

 

* * *

 

There was a book the Clave gave the downworld every year and Magnus was holding it between his hands. He had been called at the Spiral Labyrinth to decide what to do with his High Warlock of Brooklyn title.

It had pained him to make the decision to renounce to his title but he knew he could not work with Camille, he did not trust her in any way and unfortunately, heads of clans had to work together. For a while he had tried to convince himself he was not doing it because Alec was in London and his title would seperate them but now, as he held the Book of Missings he could not fool himself.

After the Circle uprising, the Clave had agreed to give the downworlders a list of shadowhunters missing, whose body had not been found. Not knowing either they had died, gone rogue or join the Circle, at least the downworlders could identify them as dangerous.

Magnus exhaled for a long time before opening the book from the end. It did not take long to find the name he sought.

_Alexander Lightwood, presumed dead, 14._

It was dated of 5 years ago and a picture was glued under it. A boy who looked just like Alec, except for darker hair, no freckles and sparkle in his eyes only the innocent children held. Magnus passed his hand on the young face but his eyes were glued to the last name. _Lightwood._ Nothing good ever came from this family.

“ _Except him_ ” he thought for a moment.

 

His struggling feelings were interrupted by a fire message that landed right on the book he had opened, an automatic message informing him the wards at Ragnor's had been broken. In a second, he opened a portal and appeared straight into a dissaray living room. Ragnor was sitting on the floor, leaning against a wall, exhausted.

“What happened! I had a warning from your wards!” he shouted rushing to his friend side and throwing a few exploratory spells to check if they were safe.

“I'm fine. They broke the first layer of my wards, it sends an automatic message to my emergency contact: you. I was able to renforce the wards right away. ”

“As flattered as I am. Who tried to break in?”

Ragnor sighed and straightened his posture a bit.

“The kid went on a mission three days ago. They can take more than a night sometimes but after 24 hours I got worried. I started to ask questions. Stupid boy. He went to save a werewolf that was taken. No one was sure but everybody whispered about the Circle.”

Magnus went pale.

“He hates them, he promised me not to search for them but apparently he lied. I found one hideout of the bastards and they found me.”

“Ragnor... Where is he?”

“In a warehouse, near Liverpool I think. Magnus. It's dangerous, you shouldn't, you don't even know him.”

“But I do.”

Leaving Ragnor, Magnus sent a quick firemessage to Catarina so she could look after him while he went to save Alec.

 

* * *

 

Ragnor might not be the more ferocious warlock alive, but he was smart and knew how to get information. The warehouse he found did end up being layered with protective runes and mixed with tainted magic, Magnus knew he couldn't not just break the entirety of the wards, he'd rather pierce a small portal in it toward Alec. Holding a tee-shirt he focused his attention to track his the man, feeling the protection Alec wore on his ring, it wasn't strong enough to stop Magnus magic but it blended with the shape-shifting magic of the bracelet. The magic wasn't very good and after years of use, it had blended the two artifacts. With one burst of focused magic, Magnus had the protection crumble and managed to open a portal. Breathing in a deep breath he went in.

 

The warehouse as brightly lit and everything was of horror. Magnus was surrounded by dozens of caged downworlders but, as he got closer, he realized they all died from what appeared to be experiment. Bile rose in his throat and he gagged at the sight and smell when he heard the clanking sound of chains. Turning around he saw the hunched figure of Alec sitting on a chair, a small puddle of blood beneath him. All but runing, Magnus threw protective spells around the room and started to heal Alec as he got closer.

“Alexander, can you hear me. I'm getting you out of here.”

“James... got to find him...”

“They're dead. I'm sorry, everyone here is dead.”

Freeing Alec, he opened a portal when the door opened and revealed two Circle members, rage burned in Magnus and he threw two burning spells at them, knowing he could not do more while saving Alec. Taking the two steps they needed, he portalled them to Ragnor's appartment where Catarina welcomed them.

 

* * *

 

Magnus was pissed off, Catarina had left them once she was sure Alec's injury would heal well without anymore help. She did not ask a thing about him or his relationship with Magnus but she held the same worried look as Ragnor had for the last month or so.

Alec was... fine and it was infuriating, his left arm had been broken in three places, cuts all over his chest, and bruises on his face. However, he seemed to find all of this not so severe, he tried to go back to training after two days only to be found by Magnus and they had their first fight which was now entering its one week mark.

“Magnus. Please talk to me.”

“What do you want me to say? That I'm okay with you being stupidly reckless?”

“I'm a shadowhunter! It's my job to risk my life for other!” shouted Alec

“You were tortured! How can you be okay with this! I don't understand any of this! Do you not care about yourself? How can we be together if you keep hiding everything from me?”

Alec's face fell but hurt was quickly replace by outrage.

“You're one to talk! I know nothing of you. I can feel it you know, the way you keep yourself away from me. I... I love you Magnus and you won't let us be something together.”

Magnus stayed quiet after the confession, but his fear got the best of him.

“I'm sorry Alexander, I just can't be with someone who lies to me.”

Alec took a shaky breath, went to leave but changed his mind.

“I never lied. I just did not reveal everything to you, I thought you would understand a tough past was not something I wanted to talk about. I guess we're too different.”

And he left.

 

Alec said his goodbyes to Ragnor before leaving for Dublin, leaving Magnus to share the appartment with a scowlding Ragnor.

Days turned into one then two weeks and Magnus was unhappy, he did not even try to heal his wounds with some partying with strangers. Trying to find confort in Ragnor silence he could feel the warlock stare at him above his newspapers.

“What?”

“You're unhappy.” every statement Ragnor made was told as a general truth. Something Magnus found very annoying, especially after one of his break-up

“I'm aware of that. Thank you very much.”

“It's only your fault.”

“He left.” huffed Magnus.

“You pushed him away.”

“... I can't Ragnor. I just can't do it all over again. He's everything and I just can't seem to grasp who he is. How can I fall in love with someone I don't get?”

“My friend, you're a fool to think you haven't fallen for him already. You're just scared to take this leap of faith again.”

“I've jumped too many times just to end up broken and alone.”

“So you'd rather be alone for eternity?”

“You chose it.”

Ragnor let a small huff of laughter escape him.

“I may have. But you, you have always loved fiercely, no matter how much you end up hurting in the end, you need love to exist. It is who you are. Just don't close yourself to the ones who want to love you.”

 

Magnus closed his eyes and sighed. Ragnor left him to his thoughts for the rest of the evening and Magnus ended up falling asleep on the couch, his mind too full of self questioning when he was woken up by the doorbell at 2 am. Using his magic to make himself more presentable, he opened the door to find Alec, his hair wet from the trickling rain outside. After saving him, Magnus had offered to give him a new shapeshifting charm but he said he'd look like himself again.

“When I was 14, my father beat me up because I told him I was gay, my mother watched and left me for hours before healing my wounds. They pushed a law to make homosexuality illegal, I ran away. I've been running ever since and I ran again when you pushed me away but I don't want to run anymore. I wanna try, I want us to try. Please Magnus, let us try to be happy together.”

 

He said it all without breathing, bearing his heart out for Magnus to do as he pleased. Making the leap of faith Magnus had been so afraid of, and giving him the pull he needed. Magnus took a step forward, grabbed the lapel of his leather coat and kissed him hard on the mouth.

“I'm scared. I've loved many before and it kept ending in heartbreak, I just feared we would be the same. I've been through bad times, I can't let you think it's okay to be hurt. I... I love you too Alexander, but I wanna try too. A good friend once told me : Relationship take effort.”

“I'm all for effort.” answered Alec before kissing Magnus again.

 

They soon found themselves shedding the first layers of clothes when Magnus stopped.

“Alec... are you sure?”

Alec looked at him with total adoration, kissing his nose, his cheek and his neck.

“I'm sure. I trust you more than I can understand.”

Magnus closed his eyes, relishing in the sensations, his heart beating a mile a minute, he took Alec's head in his hands, his thumbs stroking his cheekbones.

“I trust you too.” and he did. As Alec guided him toward his bedroom Magnus threw silencing spells around the room, the kisses grew tender then shifted to passionate as they undressed themselves. Throwing Alec on the bed, he almost fell on the other side but Alec caught him. They stayed still for a minute, their naked bodies so close, Alec's fingers on his waist, Magnus nuzzled the man's neck and then started moving earning a gasp from his lover.

“We're only starting darling.” he joked before Alec suddenly rolled his hips making Magnus groan.

Magnus took a minute to lose himself staring at the lusted eyes that stared right back at him before making a bottle of lube and a condom appear and amorcing his descent kissing and nibbling his way down Alec's torso.

It felt right, as they slowly made love, their breaths mixing. They soon lost themselves in the sensations they brought to one another.

 

Later, as they laid embracing each other, Alec started to talk about his past, his family, Magnus laughed at his depiction of Jace and started to tell a bit about his adventures with the Herondale ancestors. It was a new beginning, the challenges that awaited them in the world seemed far away in this moment.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So relationship angst is very difficult to write for me. Tell me what you think of it. ^^


	6. When happiness begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vacations and Lydia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.... this is a big one. Sorry for the delay but I have exams soon and lost motivation along the way. 
> 
> I hope you like it, thank you for the kudos. Please do leave a comment they are what keeps me going. ^^

“Turn around.” Magnus sat up from his lying position and motioned to Alec to turn.

“Why?”

“I'm gonna put lotion on you, with your fair skin you're gonna burn like a tomato.”

Alec rolled his eyes but did as he was told, lying on his stomach he grumbled.

“It's almost night, the sun is about to set. There's no need for lotion.”

Magnus start to slowly massage his shoulder and the shadowhunter moaned in appreciation.

“Never underestimate the sun. And, I'm pretty sure you enjoy the massage.” he whispered in his ear.

 

Alec let his boyfriend slowly unknot his muscles while the sun slowly set on the horizon. Magnus had insisted on going in the South West of France for Alec's 20th birthday. Despite his many travels, Alec had never swum in the ocean and Magnus had been appalled by that news. While the warlock had jumped in the cold water without stopping, Alec went slower to ease into it before Magnus used his magic to throw a wave at him. They had ended up battling in the water, waves overpowering both of them. Alec had swallowed a lot of salted water but had gotten his revenge by winning a swimming race with Magnus.

 

The whole day had been amazing and Alec let his thoughts wandered before Magnus suddenly rose on his feet.

“Come on! Let's get a real midnight bath.”

Alec rose up too and looked around. A group of friends was sitting around a bunch of lighted phones laughing. Otherwise they were alone. The beach dark as the sun finally disappeared, only the moon shone above them. Turning back toward Magnus, Alec's gasped when he saw the man had already shed his swim trunks and stood naked in front of him.

“No one will see, or they won't care. Come on Alexander!” he added before running toward the ocean.

Alec gulped, suddenly very self-conscious, he activated his sight rune and could see Magnus taunting him by raising just so his lower back surfaced before going back under a wave. Taking a big breath, Alec took his trunks off and ran to join him. He picked Magnus up once he reached him and kissed his smiling face.

They stood like that, arms around each other, in the dark Magnus cat eyes shone brightly and Alec kissed him once again. Magnus soon took charge and deepened the kiss before dropping his head toward Alec's neck, tracing the swirls of his speak-in-tongues rune.

“Mag.. Magnus.” stuttered Alec. “We can't have sex here.”

“Hmm.. But we can.” said Magnus, a smirk on his lips.

“I'm pretty sure sex, salt and sand don't mix.” argued Alec even though he very much wanted to continue their make-out session but Magnus was determined to prove his point, his hand lowering toward Alec's cock.

“You, Alexander, need to let go a little.” he breathed before kissing the man's gasping lips as he stroke him toward his climax.

 

Once they went back to the beach house Catarina had lent them, Alec had dragged Magnus to the shower so they could get rid of the salt and pick up their activities where they left them.

Laying in bed afterwards, Magnus let his hand wander through Alec's glistening chest, smirking.

“What is so funny?” mumbled a sleepy Alec.

“Just that we spent most of our day in some kind of water and yet we end up sweaty.” he joked.

Earning a chuckle from Alec, he dropped a few kiss on his shoulder.

“I love you darling.”

“Love you too Magnus. Always.”

 

The following morning was quite difficult for them, having to leave by noon they kept delaying their departure. Magnus opened a portal barely five minutes before the new tenants arrived, using his magic to clean everything.

Back to their appartment in Paris, the routine came straight back to them with the noise of the city. Magnus had a meeting at the Spiral Labyrinth about a High Warlock position. Kissing Alec goodbye he portaled away.

Alec fished out his phone out of his desk where Magnus had made him let it during their short vacation. Valérie, a local vampire had asked to see him and he already got a bunch of requests for short jobs.

Dragging his feet to the huge dressing Magnus had insisted they get, he took a jean and a plain tee-shirt, a blade and left the appartment.

If they lived in an amazing appartment in the center of Paris, most of Alec's work was spent in different neighbourhoods, refusing to risk his life in the taxis and bored by the subway he had learned to drive a bike which had made Magnus very happy. “Finalizing your dark and handsome look.” he had said when Alec had came back with the bike for the first time.

Arriving at a small café in the north of the city, he stepped in, quickly finding his way in the basement where Valérie worked to avoid the sun.

“Hello gorgeous.” she welcomed him. “How was the birthday?”

“Great.” blushed Alec.

“It looks like it.” she said, her finger poking at Alec's neck where Magnus had left a hickey.

“You wanted to see me?” asked Alec, changing the subject.

“Yes... You see, there's someone who wants to meet you.” she looked nervous, her usual demeanour forgotten. “Her name's Lydia, she's a shadowhunter.”

“What? I can't. I won't. Do they know where I am?” Alec was ready to call Magnus to tell him they had to move but Valérie put a soothing hand on his arm.

“Calm down. She's cool. I swear, she'll meet you on your term, I'll be there, or Magnus, or both of us if you want. She says she wants to help you.”

All of his instincts told him to run away but he trusted Valérie, she had a deep mistrust of shadowhunters, so there had to be something good about this Lydia.

“I knew her fiancé, it's a long story. But if you want to meet her, she'll be here tomorrow morning at 8am. Your choice.”

 

* * *

 

 

Magnus was sitting on the couch, his arms crossed together, he kept his eyes staring at the library, refusing to aknowledge Alec getting ready for his meeting.

“I should come with you.” he started.

“No. You can't, I'll be safe I promise, but if it was some kind of trap I need you safe, here.”

Alec was determined but scared, there was too much to lose with all of this. He strode toward Magnus and kneeled in front of him. Magnus kept his eyes away for a moment longer before letting his gaze sift toward the man he loved.

“Don't say goodbye. Just come back soon, call me when it ends, I'll open a portal for you. I need you to be safe.”

Alec forced a smile on his lips and dropped a soft kiss on his forehead.

“See you soon Magnus.”

 

And just like that, Magnus was left alone.

 

When Alec got to the café he spotted two werewolves sitting outside and Pierre, a local warlock standing near the counter. Close to the exit was settled a table where sat a young woman, her blond her was tightly kept in a ponytail while her skin displayed many runes. Alec took a deep breath before sitting in front of her. The atmosphere was heavy with mistrust when she started to speak.

“I'm Lydia. I'll speak quickly so we can all go back to our home. You're a gifted shadowhunter and it's a shame you have to stay away from us. We know you killed Circle members back in Nigeria, that you're in a relationship with Magnus Bane. I don't know if the story you told about your parents is true and I don't care. I want to officalize your position as free-lance shadowhunter, you could help Institutes until laws change and then you could rise in our ranks. Aline Penhallow is fighting against the anti-homosexuality law and Isabelle Lightwood tries to change minds about relationships with downworlders. I could arrange a meeting with them if you wish.”

“No!” interrupted Alec. As much as he wanted to see his sister again, the guilt of leaving her behind with no idea of what happened to him plagued him since the beginning. “I...need my identity to stay hidden, or I'll be in danger.”

 

Lydia's eyes soften for a millisecond before they gained their seriousness once again. She took a card out of her pocket and handed it to her.

“Call me and we can go on mission the both of us. If we work, I'll organize a meeting with high ranked people who would agree to reintegrate you and make sure you won't ever be hunted by the Clave.”

Alec nodded his understanding of the choice he was given and Lydia left without another word.

 

* * *

 

The rain was pouring over them as Lydia and Alec ran after a shax demon on the rooftops. Alec had missed this, the adrenaline of the chase and yet knowing someone was watching his back. Hassana was the last one that made him feel safe like that and before it was Jace. Even if he had fought alongside with many downworlders and learnt how to move in unison with them it was still so much better being on a mission with another shadowhunter.

It had been weeks since their first meeting and with each new mission Lydia asked him to join Alec found himself yearning for this official title among his birth community. He could be happy, not watching over his shoulder in fear some shadowhunter would attack him and endanger Magnus with him.

The chase kept going for a while before they caught up with the demon on a roof that happened to be the home of a nest of shax demons.

“Great.” muttered Lydia.

“One demon for the two of us was a bit too easy. They had to even the odds.”

“5 to 1 is not the best for us.”

Alec smirked and launched himself toward the closest demon. Each battle felt the same, muscle memories taking over his mind. Alec was a soldier, it was part of his identity and he felt it each time he wieldied a blade or his bow. The shax attacked him with a dart and he crouched down quickly but heard the yelp of Lydia who had been standing right behind him.

“Fuck.” He quickly killed the two demons left and hurried toward Lydia who was holding her side where the venom was spreading. Reaching for his phone, he texted Magnus and a few seconds after a portal opened in front of him.

 

Alec picked up Lydia and rushed toward the appartment he could see inside the portal, his drenched clothes ruining the rug as he dropped her on their leather sofa. Magnus hurried and kneeled so he could start healing Lydia.

“Draw a few Iratze runes.” he ordered and Alex fished out his stele to do so.

 

Lydia woke up a few hours later, Alec had been making sure the Iratze kept working while Magnus was mixing some potion in the laboratory part of their kitchen.

Lydia grumbled and Magnus held a glass of potion in front of her as Alec helped her get into a sitting position.

“I can't believe you had to almost die on me so I could finally meet you.” joked Magnus, earning a glare from Alec and chuckle from Lydia.

“Very nice to meet you. And thank you.”

“You're very welcome, you keep my man safe, I keep you safe.”

A strangely comfortable silence settled in as Lydia slowly got more awake, Alec went to the bedroom to change his clothes and Magnus cleaned the living room.

 

“I got him a meeting.” said Lydia and Magnus froze.

“I know you're afraid, but I'm gonna make it short, him meeting two officials, them agreeing to his reintegration into the Clave data-base and then he goes back to you.”

Magnus gazed toward the bedroom, worried Alec would come in but he soon heard the shower and he sighed.

“I wish he did not need to do that. We don't need the Clave approval.”

“Your relationship doesn't but he needs it. Shadowhunters don't fare well alone, the Circle is back we could protect him.”

“And you're risking your neck for him?” asked Magnus, disbelief painted on his face. Lydia straightened and dropped her gaze.

“No. François, or whatever is his name, is a symbol. I want our relationship with the downworld to change and he could lead us to that end.”

Magnus turned to stare at her but before he could ask more questions she kept going.

“My fiancé got into a mission, he ended having a choice : save one shadowhunter or five downworlders. He saved the downworlders and the Clave sent him to a suicide location as punishment. If things change, if they can see how we all need each other...”

“Maybe he could come back before it's too late.” finished Magnus.

“I'm selfish but I promise, I do care about François, I want him alive, he's a good man, a great shadowhunter. The Circle is preparing for war, we need everyone ready to fight.”

 

Magnus let out a deep sigh before smiling at her.

“Gosh, I wish I could hate you but I like you Lydia Branwell.”

 

* * *

 

The meeting took place in an abandonned Institute in the south of Spain. Alec had struggled to rip himself away from Magnus who watched him leave with deep worry etched on his features.

Lydia led the way toward a small room where two figures where waiting for them. Alec instantly recognized Imogen Herondale, her permanent frown staring at them, her eyes flickering with recognotion as she saw Alec walk toward them.

“Ladies, this is the man I told you about.” she then turned toward Alec. “Meet Imogen Herondale and Jia Penhallow.”

“Since everything about this meeting is to be kept secret, I assume your real identity can be revealed.” proposed Imogen. Alec dropped his gaze toward the wrist of the women, all bearing the rune of secret. A rare rune, only used to keep what is said while active completely secret, preventing any participant to reveal what happened. Alec stared at the two women's eyes, determined and nodded.

“You look just like your mother.” said Imogen. “You are Alexander Gideon Lightwood right?”

“Yes.”

“Good, since that is said. We agreed to give you an official status, preventing any curious shadowhunter to be allowed to bother you. In exchange you are to help us if need be.” explained Jia.

“I understand and agree.”

“I thought of _i_ as a code name. It's the imaginary number in math, and the only rule you have about giving you a name is that it gets this letter in it.” proposed Lydia.

“Works for me.” said Alec with a small smile.

 

The rest of the meeting was a bunch of papers to sign, taking his name out of the missing lists. Alec was about to follow Lydia as she left but Jia stopped him.

“Mr... Knowing your parents, I think I'm right in assuming you ran because of the law they passed. My daughter is fighting this law and both Inquisitor Herondale and I support her cause. You could come back to your rightful place in an Institute one day soon.”

Alec smiled at her, not even surprised that her words evoked no longing in his heart.

“I wish all shadowhunters to be free to be themselves. However, the love of my life is a warlock, I doubt the Clave will let me have any power in an Institute while I'm with him.”

“If you hadn't run away maybe , but now after living with downworlders all this time. It will be hard enough for you to convince others you're not a traitor.” explained Jia.

“I know that. I have no regret.” Alec said and he left.

 

He went straight to the closest warlock Magnus had told him to see and got a portal to their street in Paris. Rushing in the stairs he arrived to see their door open and Magnus leaping in his arms.

Kissing him fiercely Alec guided him to their bedroom. No words were spoken as Magnus got rid of their clothes, dropping kisses all over Alec's face. A mix of fear, happiness and all around love got them lying naked, their bodies leading them toward an overpowering climax. Neither of them dreamt of more happiness, content to held the man they loved in their arms.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I was wondering, what do you prefer Immortal husbands? or not? I have an idea but I'm not so sure.


	7. How to become one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while and I'm so so sorry. I've had exams and a very shitty month (that is not over -_-). Here is the new chapter.   
> Thank you for reading, leaving kudos and comments. I might have taken a bit longer but I loved all of them so so so much.

It was Christmas morning, they had spent the last week settling in Osaka, where Magnus got the title of High Warlock. Lydia had assured the transfer of Alec's secret file to Japan so that a new shadowhunter could partner with him. She, declined the offer to join him and preferred going back to New York. “A lot is happening, I need to keep an eye on that.” she had explained. Magnus had planned a big Christmas party, “to meet the downworlders of the city” and Alec had stood up like a sore thumb, big tall caucasian shadowhunter still very much uncomfortable with people. But Magnus was happy and smiling, once again a High Warlock, respected, looked upon; so Alec had endured the party until it was three am and the party ended, the two of them finally snuggling in their bed.

That's why when their phone rang, the two of them had groaned and struggled to open their eyes. Alec was more used to sudden alarms and reached the phone first, answering he flopped back on his pillows and Magnus snuggled against him with a satisfied smile and immediately went back to sleep.

“Yes.” said Alec with an even deeper voice than usual.

“Rick? It's Catarina, is Magnus here? Can I drop by? It's important.”

“Yeah sure! Come, I'll wake Magnus.” answered Alec and the call ended. He then shook Magnus to wake him.

“Mag! It's Cat, she's coming right now. Said it was urgent.” It took a few seconds for the words to reach Magnus' sleepy brain but once it did, he woke up completely, and they both put on a pair of pants and shirt as they heard the sound of Catarina's portal opening.

 

The sight that welcomed they had them freezing in the middle of the living room. Catarina was still in her nurse's clothes and holding a bundle in her arms a minuscule hand rose from the bundle and slowly was revealed a tiny baby sleeping but instead of a bush of hair on the head was what appeared to be branches and leaves.

“I found her in the garbages behing the hospital. I just.... I need to call in the Spiral Labyrinth to get her into the orphenage back there. Could you take care of her until then?” she asked, emotional and tired, eyes glistening.

Magnus was the first to talk.

“Yes of course. Don't worry. First go rest, we'll take care of her as long as it takes to find her a family.”

As he spoke, Alec got closer and carefully took the baby in his arms, Cat gave him a quick glance to make sure he did it right before focusing on what to do with Magnus. Alec was smiling at the baby who struggled to open her eyes, his fingers hovered her leafy hair before stroking it lightly.

“You're beautiful.” he whispered, leaning close to her, her small hand rose and touched his cheek. Alec felt frozen, his entire world shifting, ready to do anything to protect her.

“We need to name her.” realized Magnus as he went to join Alec.

“Thalie.” proposed Alec.

Magnus looked at Alec's face, and frowned in front of such adoration. It would make the seperation so much harder. He was ready to refuse the name but as his eyes focused on the smiling baby he found that Thalie suited her perfectly.

 

* * *

 

 

“We could keep Thalie.” said Alec about a week later.

Magnus tensed, his hand stopped pouring the spices in the meal he was making.

“Alexander... I know it might be tough but we can't make such a commitment.”

“Why not? I want to. I love you Magnus, I don't wanna live without you, I know we can't marry but I love Thalie and I know you adore her. Why can't we be a family together?”

“I... Alec, it's just. I love you, so much, and yes I would love for Thalie to be our daughter.” his throat swallowed his words for a moment. Daughter, he never had any children, no lover ever wanted to build something with him. It just, never was something he thought possible. “But you just got a foot back as an official shadowhunter, it's very likely this homophobic law will be abolished. If you were married to me, if you had a child with a warlock, even more with Thalie being a warlock herself, they'll never allow you back. You'll never raise through the ranks.” he tried to explain without panicking at the thought of losing Alec to the Clave.

 

“Who said I'll leave you? I don't want to go back to the Clave. I'm happy, I can go on mission, not run away all the time.” he stopped and took Magnus' hand in his. “I can be with you. That's all I want.”

He was so sure of himself that Magnus wanted to believe in this beautiful magical future but he took a step back.

“You don't realize, it's too definitive, there's no going back with a child. This is forever. You're so young, you'll want different things.”

Alec got pissed off. “I'm not some stupid boy! I've lived long enough, went through enough to know what I want in life. I might not be able to give you an immortal forever but I'm ready to build something. I thought you were too.” his teeth clenched, he shook his head and left the loft.

 

Later that night, Magnus waited for Alec to come back, his heartbeat slowing down right when he heard him come home. But instead of getting closer, the sound got farther and farther, it took a while for Magnus to realize Alec had decided to stay in their guest room. He barely slept that night, that's why he got up very quickly when Thalie started to moan and he was craddling her right as she started to full on cry. He went through the motions, changed her diapers, magiced a bottle to feed her, burped her but still, she cried more and more. Magnus had started singing lullabies from all over the world when a second voice joined him, both of their hands resting on the cradle, so close and yet so far. Only one duet done and Thalie was back to sleep. Her fussing had make her shade a few leaves on her bed that Alec conscientiously pick up and put in a box near the bed. If they saved all the leaves and flowers from her warlock hair from birth, he could only imagine how much they'll have by the time she turned 10.

 

Magnus' hands clenched the cradle wood, tears starting to fall from his eyes.

“Magnus... what's wrong?” worried Alec.

“I want to see her grow up. I want a family with you Alexander.”

“I want it too.”

“I'm just scared, terrified you'll think your place is back in an Insitute, in Idris. I wanna trust that you won't but it's hard.”

Alec put his arm around Magnus, leaning his chin against his shoulder.

“I've ran for the longest time away from the Clave and my parents. You might not have realized it, but since we got together I've been running, but toward our future together.”

Magnus smiled and turned to kiss Alec.

 

* * *

 

 

“You're sure?” asked Ragnor. “It's never been done.”

“I'm sure. I just need to make sure it's possible.” answered Magnus and Ragnor accepted, going to his library in search of the impossible.

 

* * *

 

 

Thalie was three, the Clave had said nothing when they adopted her and warlocks knew by then they could trust Alec with one of their own. As cute as the girl was, she knew how to throw tantrums. Parenthood had been one hell of a ride for the two men, even more for Alec who had to deal with a magical child who used her magic to get the food, clothes, toys she wanted. She had stopped when they finnaly found the best punishment, whenever she was acting out, they started talking in any language she didn't know. It frustrated the small girl to no end.

Strangely she became very nice when Seiji joined their family. On a mission, Alec ended up fighting demons attacking a small house in the country. They had no idea why the demons where there until they found the bodies of two people that his partner identified as deruned shadowhunters. It was amazing they had lasted this long on their own. None of the parents survived but their five-year old son, Seiji was alive and traumatised.

He refused to leave Alec's side and had ended up living with them for a few days, that turned into weeks as Thalie befriended him. By the time the Clave went knocking to get Seiji back, the boy was already part of their family.

This time the adoption was hard, Alec had called in Lydia who battled for them, even asking help from Aline and Hélène. Magnus had to go testify his good intentions in front of the Clave, Alec stayed away thanks to Jia and Imogen who protected his secret.

While Magnus testified, Alec had spent the worst hours of his life, fearing the Clave would arrest him. As soon as Magnus portalled back home, Alec jumped on him to kiss him senseless.

“I was so worried.” he said, nuzzling Magnus' neck.

“I know, I felt the same when you went to the secret meeting with Penhallow and Herondale.”

“Is it done? Is Seiji....” Alec couldn't bring himself to ask.

“Seiji is our son.” answered Magnus with a smile.

 

Everything was amazing for them, Magnus was looking at their two children playing a board game while Alec was cooking and he felt more at peace than ever. Never before would he have imagined being here, with a man he loved so much, and two children who called him Papa.

His thoughts were cut-off by a firemessage falling on his lap. Seiji yelped in surprise and Thalie reassured the older boy by doing a few magic tricks. Most of the time she wasn't allowed to do magic without authorisation but Magnus let it pass. He focused on the firemessage and felt like he received a cold shower on his happiness.

 

_Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Osaka_

 

_We request your presence on a matter of the upmost importance. We believe you are in possession of the memories of Clarissa Fairchild which are essential in our fight against the Circle. We are ready to pay you._

_If we are not mistaken, there will be a warlock meeting in Washington soon, we expect you'll use this opportunity to come to our aid._

 

  1. _Maryse Lightwood._



 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, you know, I'm not a fan of cliffhanger but without it it felt almost like a final ending when there is still more chapters to come. ^^  
> Hope you liked it. Don't hesitate to leave a comment.   
> Did you like the kids, the fight etc etc ^^


	8. To protect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So thank you for all your kudos and comments they mean a lot.   
> We're getting to the final part of the story. I hope you'll like out it unfolds.

Magnus got up early, the sky was full of clouds, not menacing but casting a gray shadow on the world. He left the room silently, careful not to wake Alec and went to prepare breakfast. It always took a while, while Thalie was very happy with her milk and cereals, Seiji was used to a full japanese breakfast made of miso soup, tamagoyaki omelette and a dorayaki. Alec and Magnus took turn on who had to prepare breakfast. Though Magnus could have just conjured it, he found he liked taking the time to make sure his son could have a good meal.

Still in his kimono, he went to wake the children, Thalie snuggled against his shoulder, the leaves on her head tickling him. Seiji took his hand, rubbing his eyes with the other one. Magnus kissed them both while they ate and left to wake Alec.

 

Usually Alec stayed asleep after a night of patrolling with the Institute but today Magnus had to leave for New York. Neither of them were happy about it, they had made their lives in Osaka with their children growing up there. New York was filled with bad memories for the both of them, Magnus because of Camille and Alec because of his parents.

It had been quite a while since they had actually felt like something was threatning their happiness, Magnus having to meet with the Lightwood was scary enough for them to cling to each other a few seconds longer.

 

Seiji clapped when Magnus opened the portal and Thalie threw a few sparks in excitement. Kissing Alec one last time, Magnus when through his portal, landing in front of the home of the Warlock of Manhattan for the meeting of all warlocks.

 

* * *

 

Opinions about Magnus were mixed, all warlocks knew how powerful he was and how much he cared about their community; but his relationship with a shadowhunter and adopting two children with him was frown upon.

But if the warlocks had mostly kept their opinion to themselves, Magnus knew that facing the likes of Maryse Lightwood was a completely different issue.

 

The only reason he agreed to meet them was because of Clary, he remembered the young girl and her frightened eyes as he took away her memories. Sighing loudly, he knocked on the Institute's door, even though he was the one that put all their magical protections and could just waltz in as if he owned the place. A very drab looking man opened the door and stared at him judgment in his eyes.

“What do you want warlock?”

Magnus resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

“I've been invited by Maryse Lightwood about Clarissa Fairchild.”

“You mean summoned.” taunted the man.

“No. I mean invited. Now, will you let me in or should I just leave you all to figure what to do alone?”

The guard was about to say something, probably an insult when he was pushed out of the way by a young woman who smiled and apologized.

“Hello! I'm Isabelle Lightwood. Thank you for coming.”

Magnus smiled back, remembering the kind smile Alec always had when he talked about her. Her eyes fell to his chest and she frowned for a moment. Magnus followed her gaze and realized he was wearing the necklace Alec gave him, made of one of his arrow-heads. There was very little chance Izzy could actually recognized it, but as soon as she turned around to guide him, he made sure the pendant was hidden under his shirt.

 

“Magnus Bane. Glad you could come help us.” said Maryse once he arrived in front of her.

“Always a displeasure Maryse. I'm not here for games of pretending. Where's Clarissa?”

“Well, some thought that your dalliance with this shadowhunter would help you be more agreable. Thankfully I'm not one for believing that you downworlders can change.” Venom in her voice, she turned around and revealed Clary standing a bit further away.

Magnus wanted to yell at her, curse her for what she did to Alexander, yet he managed to gather all calm he could find in him and ignored Maryse, focusing on teaching Clary which summoning circle to draw so they could summon the memory demon.

Then came the tricky part, Clary, Jace, Isabelle and Simon took their place on the circle, Maryse stayed out of the room. Magnus took his place and started the summoning. As expected the demon asked for a memory of loved ones, though he could not choice which memory, he tried very hard to focus on his children and not on Alec. Fearing, the reveal of his memory would out Alec's survival to his family.

Simon gave a memory of his family dinner, Clary one of drawing with her mother, Jace actually gave a memory of him and his siblings in bed as Maryse sang a bedtime song. Isabelle one of Alec doing her hair before her rune ceremony. Magnus breathed in deeply and gave up a memory, Alec was asleep, his long dark hair covering his face, Thalie had climbed on his torso and he was slowly stroking her tree-like hair, on his side was Seiji, snuggled sucking on his thumb.

It was so intense, so pure, it reminded Magnus all he had to lose, he wanted nothing more than to run back and fiercely hug every one of them.

 

Clary got her memories back, she wobbled on her feet from the intensity of the return, Magnus banished the demon once again.

“Magnus... Thank you.” said Clary out of breath. Magnus nodded her way and left. He gathered the gold Maryse had pepared and rushed toward the exit. Too impatient he missed the shadow of someone following him, realizing too late he was followed, someone grabbed him and pushed him against the wall of an empty hallway. Magnus was ready to attack when he realized Robert Lightwood was standing in front of him. Rage fueled his blood and he spat :

“Back away ! Or do you want to breach the Accords?!”

“Be careful warlock, you're only here because we need you. Your dalliance with this traitor may have been accepted by some weaklings in Japan but the likes of you should'nt be authorized to raise a nephilim. Your domestic bliss might not last long.”

And then he left Magnus alone in the hallway. Too shaken up, he refused to take one more step in the Insitute and summoned a portal right inside it.

 

* * *

 

Magnus stood frozen, unable to move as he watched Maryse take Seiji away from him, Robert pulling his blade away from Alec's body before turning toward Thalie who stood there crying. Magnus mouth was screaming but no sound left him.

He woke up with a shout, looking around to see Alec sleeping beside him. He checked his wards around their appartement, feeling the beating heart of his children in their rooms. Sighing in relief, he tried to regain his calm but his hands kept shaking. He had no idea how much time passed but soon long fingers curled around his own. Magnus let a shaky sob espace him and Alec englufed him in his arms.

“What happened in New York?”

“Your father threatened our family. I didn't want to burden you.”

“You're not. It's gonna be okay. I'll warn Lydia so she can make sure no private information get in my parents hands.”

“The anti-homosexuality law is still in place even though Aline is fighting against it. Powerful people hate us, it's not just your parents. I can't lose you or our children and I'm so scared.”

Magnus rarely showed his vulnerability to others but he had found Alec was always there to be his rock when he felt like crumbling.

“I'll contact Jules, Hassana, Eric, Ragnor, everyone. We will make a plan to escape away, disappear from the Clave eyes.”

“You just managed to get back to it.”

“And you just got a High Warlock position. We both have to sacrifice, but I'll do it, for you and our children.”

“I'll follow you in a heartbeat.” whispered Magnus before kissing Alec.

“My parents are not going near us.” added Alec before coaxing Magnus to bed, kissing slowly, pouring all of his love in.

 

* * *

 

In a few weeks the plan was ready, Lydia did her best but found out their adress had been leaked to some shadowhunters so Magnus and Alec had made sure they had everything planned to leave if they found themselves in danger. They met with Aline who confirmed the Lightwoods and their close friends were the last defense of the law. Helene and her were positive they were going to win but it would not change the hate many shadowhunters had against the idea that Magnus was raising a shadowhunter.

 

For two months nothing happened and their family almost felt like the danger was still far from them. It came back rushing to the front of their minds one night when they were woken up by the insistant knocking on their doors. Magnus rushed so the people would not wake the kids but stood frozen when he opened it. In front of him were standing Isabelle, Jace and Clary holding a wounded man in their arms.

“Please Magnus, help Luke.” pleaded Clary.

“What the hell are you doing in Japan?”

“We got info some Circle members close to Valentine were here so we came. They had a werewolf who bit Luke.”

“Alpha bite?” asked Magnus, starting to understand the situation a bit more.

“Yeah.”

“Fuck! Get him on the couch! Why did you have to come here.” he ordered.

Jace got angry at his reaction.

“What the fuck? We came to ask for help, you know Luke right?”

Magnus had no time for starting a yelling match with an arrogant shadowhunter and started to look at Luke's wounds.

“Mag...us... I'm sorry.” tried to speak Luke.

“Don't speak, it's okay.” even though it wasn't, it really was not. “You can leave, I don't need you, I'll send you a firemessage when I'm done.” he tried to dismiss the univited shadowhunters.

“What! No!” shouted Clary. “Why?”

“Cause I value my privacy and you already shouldn't know where I live!” spat Magnus, he started to gather the ingredients he needed, waving a hand at the children rooms so they stayed close and protected from the noise. Because of that he missed the silence that fell on the assembly suddenly. When he turned back, Alec was staring at Izzy and Jace. Silence lasted for a few seconds before hell unfolded on them.

“What the fuck?!”

“..Alec?... How?”

“Alec? Like your dead brother Alec?”

“What the fuck are you doing here?!” kept shouting Jace.

 

Alec said nothing, very close to having a panic attack he turned to Magnus who looked at Jace who was ready to punch Alec, Izzy almost cry and Clary torned between the drama and her adoptive father wounded on the couch.

“Fuck it!” he cursed and waved his hands putting the three of them under a sleeping spell. He even was nice enough to conjure three beds in the guest bedroom and put them there. He then turned toward Alec.

“They are tomorrow's problem. Luke is our problem right now.” he explained. Alec nodded and went to help Magnus mix his potions and shared his strength to heal the man. Focusing solely on Magnus and the next action to do, ignoring how his past just barged into his house.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger ^^ Please leave a comment. 
> 
> Love you all!


	9. Shattered dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the two months delay. Life got... gloom and when I'm feeling down I can't write.   
> I hope this chapter makes up for it. I promise the last one will be updated soon. Before Christmas. 
> 
> Thank you for all your kudos and comments, they made me force myself to go back to writing!

    Isabelle woke up with a groan, stretching it took her a while to notice she was in an unknown place, she got up in a second and looked around, seeing Jace and Clary come back to their senses too. The previous night came back to them and all the emtions of seeing her brother alive, ten years after his supposed death.
    “ What the fuck” swore Jace. “He attacked us!”
    His anger was coming back tenfold but both girl ignored him.
    “I need to see if Luke is alright.” said Clary.
    They got out in silence but frozen when they heard the voice of a little girl asking for juice, then the voice of Alec chuckling.
    His voice was deeper than what she remembered, but Izzy was drawn to the sound, she ended up standing in the hallway, watching Alec take care of his two children, chastsising Thalie for making more pancake appear and ruffling Seiji's hair while the boy struggled to wake up.
    Magnus came into view, obviously exhausted, he kissed Alec on the shoulder and moved toward the door and that's when he saw the three shadowhunters frozen on the spot. His mouth twisted and he turned back.
    “Kids, we're going to aunt Cat okay?”
    Seiji nodded and Thalie jumped in excitement, turning the blooming flowers on her heard pink. Alec was about to protest when his gaze stumbled upon his siblings, Jace about to explode and Izzy not far behind.
    Magnus opened a portal and took both his kids in his arms, keeping sure their back was turned away from the unwanted guest. If there was one thing he did not want, was for them to meddle more with his family. With one last look toward Alec he disappeared.
    
    Silence fell upon them, Alec started to clean the table, his hands trembling a little.
    “Where is Luke?” asked Clary.
    “In the bedroom next to yours, he's fine, he just needs to recov...”
    “WHY?!” barked Jace “Why did you disappear? Just to play family with a warlock?!”
    Alec face fell, anxiety was quickly replaced with anger.
    “Don't talk about Magnus like that!”
    “We thought you were dead Alec! Dead!”
    “That was the point! I wanted you to think that. God, why did you come, you shouldn't have come.”
    “I don't get it? Did you get kidnapped, was it the Circle? A downworlder?” interrogated Jace.
    “Please stop. It doesn't matter, I needed to disappear, it was easier that way.”
    “No Alec! You stop!” started to shout Izzy, her mixed emotions finally decided on focusing on anger. “We were devastated, you had become so distant the weeks before you died, cancelled your parabatai ceremony, and then you died. I thought. I thought you chose to die that day.”
    
    Alec closed his eyes, memories coming back to him, memories he worked so hard to forget, that Magnus helped him go past, and now, now fear was back. This time however he did not fear for his life but for his kids and Magnus. He needed to make them leave quickly, the Clave could track them through their runes, other shadowhunters could come.
    Suddenly he realised that once again he would have to run but this time was so much more difficult, he had to burden his family with his constant runing away and had to push away his siblings.
    It should have been a happy reunion, he dreamt of it sometimes, the law would change, he would marry Magnus and invite them. Izzy would have been the best aunt ever and Jace, Jace would have guided Seiji through his training later on. But now the dream laid shatter in front of him. Ten years was too long to go back, they did not know each other anymore.
    
    “You need to leave.” he said, resolve growing.
    “No! We won't until we have answers!”
    “I don't have what you want Jace!”
    “Are you seriously going to throw us out? What are we supposed to say to our parents?” asked Isabelle. Alec moved so fast, Jace got defensive and tried to take his blade and found nothing since Magnus took their weapons away.
    “Do not say a word to them Isabelle! You can't!” Alec's voice wavered between a threat and begging.
    “Of course we're going to tell them! They deserve to know you're alive! That you have a family!” argued Jace, his anger leaving him as he saw fear grow on his brother's face.
    “You can't, please don't. I ran for a reason. I ran from them.”
    “What ? It doesn't make sense, mom and dad love you, they tried so hard to find you.” added Isabelle.
    “That's why they were in the aeroport? In Rio?”
    “You were there? You saw us? What the fuck man! We were devastated, we had so much hope we would find you there!” Jace went back to shouting, causing Clary to flinch, the fight got too intense and she fled to Luke's room.
    “They would have killed me!” finally confessed Alec. “I told them I was gay and they beat me up, passed a law so I would get deruned if I came out and when Magnus went to New York Robert threatened our family! They can never know I am alive, they can never know who I am, where I am, who my family is. Please, just don't.”
    
    Jace and Izzy stood shocked, unable to understand what was happening.
    “You're lying.” started Jace
    “Jace stop.” said Izzy as she tried to make up shut up.
    “I don't know what really happened but our parents love us! They would never hurt anyone! You're lying! Magnus put you up to that, is that it?”
    “Jace shut up!” Luke's voice boomed in the appartement, he was still weak, leaning a bit on Clary but his stare shut up Jace. “We're leaving!” he ordered. “Alec, I'm sorry, I never wanted this... I'm sorry”.
    
    Clary took Jace arm and forced him to leave the appartement, Izzy started following but stopped and turned back toward Alec, tears in her eyes.
    “I dreamt of seeing you again Alec, but not like this, not this stranger that is saying all these horrible things about the people I love. I don't think you're lying, neither does Jace, it's just too much. It just can't be right.”
    “Please Izzy, don't tell them, I beg you.”
    Izzy hesitated and shook her head, leaving his pleas unanswered and left. Alone in the loft, Alec felt his emotions bubble and a cry escaped him, trembling he texted Magnus. A few seconds later he was engulfed in the arms of the man he loved.
    
    

* * *

    
    Jace and Izzy world crumbled on that day, as they got back to New York they searched for answers and found out that their parents did make the anti-gay law and supported it, they struggled with this information and Jace barged into their parents office asking for answer.
    “Is it true? Are you defending this law?!”
    Their parents frowned and acquiesed.
    “Well of course, we can't have these degenerates in our ranks. Can you imagine? We have angel blood, to allow such behaviours would make us no better than downworlders.”
    Izzy fell sick to her stomach and the next words escaped her before she realized it.
    “So you did beat Alec up? When he was just a kid?”
    Robert was about to justify himself but Maryse frowned and asked.
    “How would you know that? Where does all these questions come from?”
    
    Izzy and Jace refused to say more but they had unknowingly sent Maryse on a war path. It did not take them long to find out where they went and two days after rushing to Magnus door to help Luke they were there once again, trying to stop their parents.
    “Stop, are you crazy?! You can't do that!” screamed Isabelle as two shadowhunters held her.
    “You'll find out that we can. There is a law against it. We won't have our son being a degenerate, and to be with a warlock. He should have died that day.” spat Robert.
    And ten shadowhunters went through the door to find an empty appartement.
    Maryse and Robert were beside themselves but Isabelle let go a sigh of relief and sadness. Alec had trusted them with a deep secret and they dismissed it. The only confort they got was as they went back to New York and received a fire message revealing that Maryse and Robert had no right to go after Alec for he was protected by the Clave. But it was too late, Alec and Magnus had disappeared. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep the kudos and comments coming, it might not look like that but they do make the writer write^^


	10. Us before the world

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I owe you all the biggest apology. I had the biggest case of writer's block. It extended for one fandom to another. I had to reread all this story and all your lovelies comments to finally find the inspiration I needed. 
> 
> Finishing this story was... weird, it's been so much and your comments are the best. I am so glad you have enjoyed the ride. 
> 
> I hope the ending was all you wanted ^^.

    If there was one thing Alec learnt through all these years of running away was that life caught up with you. And no matter how much Magnus and him wished to stay secluded in Island, away from all the bad things happening, it just did not work that way.
    Lydia had tried to find them when Valentine made his official return, but Alec did not care, his children, Magnus, were all that mattered to him.
    Catarina and Raphael tried to contact Magnus to get into the battle but he ignored them. Only Ragnor let the two of them be. For a year they stayed away but around Alec's 25th birthday, his past came back full force. Gerald, Hassana, Jules, June, Valerie, Aline and everyone Alec had met through the years had worked to find him once more.
    They all knew who he was, Jia and Imogen had gone to war with Maryse and Robert about their attack on his appartement, it became public knowledge. “I” was Alexander Lightwood.
    
    They all called or wrote but Hassana came, Magnus and Alec had no idea how she did it but she found them. She hugged Alec, kissed Magnus cheek and ruffled bith children hair.
    “ I can't Hassana “ said Alec before she could ask anything.
    “ I know... but Valentine has the cup, and the sword. Clary told Luke and now everyone knows, if he finds the mirror he can kill all downworlders. “
    Alec struggled to breathe, Magnus fingers clenching around his wrist.
    “ We want you safe, all of us, but right now, we need every power we can get. “
    
    And just like that, they got our into the world. Ragnor took the kids, he said the Seelie Queen owed him a few favors he intended to cash with her harboring him and the children in her realm.
    It was selfish, so many could die if they failed but Magnus and Alec were parents, and as danger got closer, the only thing they could focus on was the safety of their two children.
    
    All the shadowworld united against Valentine and yet it felt like a lost battle. Alec joined the ranks of the shadowhunters, ignoring the looks he was given. Lydia and Hassana stood on each of his sides, yet not so far were Izzy and Jace.
    Izzy knew that this man was so much more than the brother they remembered. She heard the stories, saw his family. Izzy kept looking at Alec's back, ignoring Jace and Clary foolish plan to go solo against Valentine.
    She was tired, tired of trying to save a tainted family name, to convince bigoted old shadowhunters they were wrong, of missing on what was important. So she kept looking at the man who ran and now stood proudly.
    
    

* * *

    
    New York was a place of bad memories, of broken childhood and heartbreak. It seemed fitting for the Circle to unleash demons there. Alec fought alonside with Hassana and Lydia before letting them alone. The two women were fierced on their own but together they found an equilibrium that very few shared. A balance, new but that was what parabatai were made of.
    Alec knew his job, kill the demons, downworlders more apt to kill Circle members. He ended up finding a spot on the roof a of a building, firing arrow after arrow to kill demons. So focused on his targets that he missed the scene that unfolded on the ground until the piercing scream of Izzy echoed in his enhanced hearing.
    He looked down to see Magnus fall on the ground, about to be attacked by Starkweather, his blow stopped by Izzy spear that went on protecting Magnus. It took Alec too long get down the building. By the time he touched the ground, the sky turned red.
    “ Valentine started the wish. “ gasped a shadowhunter somewhere near him but Alec only ran, ran toward Magnus and Isabelle. She was struggling a bit when another Circle member attacked her with Hodge, Alec took his blade out and threw it perfectly in Hodge throat, it was all Isabelle needed to embroche her other opponent.
    Alec all but fell on his knees next to Magnus, assessing his labored breath and bleeding flank.
    
    “ Hey, hey, stay with me, please, it's not over, not yet. I'm here, we're all going home. To Seiji and Thalie. They need you, they need their papa. “
    Magnus took Alec's hand, trembling, his eyes darting to the sky as it turned back blue.
    “ Jace and Clary succeeded. “ said Isabelle.
    “ See, Valentien failed, now, I refuse for you to die now. “
    Magnus let a laugh escape him and all went black.
    
    

* * *

    
    Alec refused to leave Magnus' side, only stepping away to let Catarina heal him or to take care of his children. Magnus woke up a week after the battle but was still too weak to move. Seiji made an habit of climbing on the bed each night to read a story to his papa. “ So that the bad dreams don't come. “ he explained. Thalie always snuggled under Magnus arm, falling fast asleep and Alec had to carry her to her bed.
    
    Ragnor found the whole ordeal very funny, savoring Magnus immobility to read him a few books he considered Magnus should have read already.
    He moaned to Alec about it but Alec told him it was an encensive to get better quickly.
    
    Isabelle had visited, apologizing for not believing him, asking for them to have a second chance. Alec had engulfed her in his arms.
    “ Wow, you got very affectionate big brother. “
    “ Shut up, too many emotions in too little times. “ he argued.
    “ Don't listen to him ! He's just a big softie !” joked Hassana.
    She had decided to stick around, helping with the children but also trying to see if Lydia and her were really parabatai material.
    
    Alec saw Jace when he was summoned by Jia in Idris. They had stared at each other awkwardly for a long time before Jace stepped and walked away from him.
    Jace had only been adopted for 4 years before Alec disappeared. It was so long ago, Isabelle told him that Jace always considered their parabatai ceremony cancellation as another person abandoning him. It seemed he just could not bring himself to forgive Alec and focused entirely on Clary.
    Alec himself could only focus on so many people and it was simple, natural for it to be his own family, Magnus, Thalie and Seiji.
    
    “I want to reahabilitate you.” Announced Jia. “The homophobic law had been declared illegal. You would be safe to be an official shadowhunter.”
    Alec looked at her for a moment, she really thought she was offering him the biggest present ever. For some maybe, for him a few years back too. But not now.
    “No thank you.”
    “Alec...”
    “I know that you worked hard for it to happen but I'm a father of a warlock. The Clave can't allow that. Not yet, maybe not ever.”
    “You could be a voice of change, in Idris...” she tried once more.
    “I'm sorry, I'm happy this law isn't anymore, Aline and Helen can be together, they'll be a great voice for change. They already are.”
    Jia sighed and she looked at him with a look he hadn't seen in a long time, the look of a mother.
    “I'm okay.” he reassured her. “I love my family. I'm not running anymore, we can be safe together and that is all that matter.”
    Jia got closer smiled slowly.
    “You are a great man Alexander Lightwood.”
    
    

* * *

    
    When Alec got home after a few patrol with Hassana and Lydia, feeling very much like a shadowhunter third wheel, he was welcomed by a candle-light dinner. Magnus was dressed … well like everyday but still amazingly smart.
    “I feel very underdessed.” said Alec, as he took his jacket off.
    “You're perfect honey. I just, felt like making it special.” reassured Magnus.
    “Making what special?” asked Alec, sitting on the chair in front of Magnus. “Were are ...”
    “There with Ragnor. He's quite smitten with the two of them. I think he think himself their grandfather, he was already old enough for it but...”
    “Magnus.” interrupted Alec, taking his hand in his own and gently stroking it. “What is it?”
    Magnus smiled, leant forward to kiss Alec softly.
    “There's a ceremony for warlocks. A marriage. And it's very rare because it's forever and for warlocks it can be too much. When they do the ceremony they share their immortality, meaning once one of them dies, the other will start to age. It's the final commitment for immortal being. To say you are the one. I do not wish to live if you're not with me.”
    Alec gasped, his heart beating a bit more as Magnus explanations continued.
    “I asked Ragnor a while ago what would happen if... we did the ceremony. Because Alec, I want to marry you and I want to share my immortality with you because I only want you, forever.”
    “Magnus.” started Alec overcome with emotion. Magnus was already tearing up.
    “Please. I just need to finish, for you to know everything before.. before you answer. Ragnor had been searching and it would work, it had already once a long long time ago. You're mortal so, you wouldn't be immortal but you would have a very very long life. A semi immortality of sort. This is a very powerful bound but you need to be sure Alec. It means you'll see your friends age and die. It means Seiji will.” a sob escaped him. “He will die long before us. And this kind of pain... I will live with you no matter what, union of not. But you need to be sure.”
    
    “I love you Magnus. And I want as many years with you as I can. I know it won't be easy but through it all we'll be together. Marry me.”
    Magnus leant toward him once again and kissed him, he suddenly made the table disappear so their kiss could grow in more passion.
    He had lived a lot of love story but Alec had always felt different and Magnus wanted to share his whole being with him.
    
    The next morning, they found themselves tangled with each other, a child on each side of the bed. It truly felt like the future was right here with us. Alec had ran enough. He was home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is.   
> Please comment if you liked it ^^ if you want to shout because I've poured too much angst, if you liked the return of Hassana and Ragnor ^^. 
> 
> I am looking forward to it. 
> 
> Love! Thank you for supporting this story.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments keep me writing. ^^


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